


somebody else

by broadwayqueer



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Angst, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/F, Self Harm, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 23:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadwayqueer/pseuds/broadwayqueer
Summary: Emma has failed to see that Alyssa was going downhillsong is 'you're somebody else' by flora cash





	somebody else

**Author's Note:**

> TW for depression, suicide, self harm and eating disorders. Don't read if you may be affected by any of these things. Also if I missed any potential triggers please let me know so I can add them

_ I saw the part of you _

Emma is blind as a bat some days. 

_ That only when you're older you will see too _

She struggles constantly. She drags a razor blade across her skin for comfort. 

_ You will see too _

She has her methods of making sure no one knows. Jackets, long pants, long sleeves. 

_ I held the better cards _

Of course Alyssa knew. Alyssa was her rock, she told her everything. 

_ But every stroke of luck has got a bleed through _

Emma’s eyes had lost their light. 

_ It's got a bleed through _

But she failed to see that Alyssa’s had too. 

_ You held the balance of the time _

The changes started small. Asking her coach to wear shorts underneath her skirt, no more crop tops. All to hide the cuts.

_ That only blindly I could read you _

No one noticed the brunette eating smaller and smaller portions. 

_ But I could read you _

No one noticed that she would run off to the bathroom after every meal. 

_ It's like you told me _

She knew her mom wanted her to lose weight anyways. 

_ Go forward slowly _

She went unnoticed by all. 

_ It's not a race to the end _

Hiding behind makeup and a fake smile while she was crumbling on the inside. 

_ Well you look like yourself _

Emma was her light. 

_ But you're somebody else _

Emma actually cared. 

_ Only it ain't on the surface _

Or so she thought. 

_ Well you talk like yourself _

Alyssa’s anxiety constantly fed her nasty thoughts. 

_ No, I hear someone else though _

“You’re never going to be good enough. Emma is going to hate you. Heck, Emma already hates you. You’re just a pathetic loser that no one gives a shit about.”

_ Now you're making me nervous _

Before, Alyssa could always see when Emma was relapsing. 

_ You were the better part _

Why doesn’t her girlfriend see her struggling now?

_ Of every bit of beating heart that I had _

Emma loves her, right? 

_ Whatever I had _

Well it had been about 2 weeks since she stopped digesting her food. 

_ I finally sat alone _

She’s finally skinny enough, but she can’t stop now. 

_ Pitch black flesh and bone _

She has to be the best. 

_ Couldn't believe that you were gone _

It worked until she lost all her strength. 

_ Well you look like yourself _

She got kicked off the cheerleading team. 

_ But you're somebody else _

Her mother was absolutely furious. 

_ Only it ain't on the surface _

The words echoed in her head. “Why can’t you be normal? Alyssa you need cheerleading. Why aren’t you the daughter I always wanted?”

_ Well you talk like yourself _

The words burn like walking barefoot on a pile of steaming hot coals. 

_ No, I hear someone else though _

She couldn’t start eating now, she had to be perfect. 

_ Now you're making me nervous _

Alyssa bought a gym membership and worked her body for 2 hours after school every day. 

_ Well you look like yourself _

She was exhausted 

_ But you're somebody else _

A frame of her normal self.

_ Well you talk like yourself _

She didn't cry. She didn't feel anything.

_ No, I hear someone else though _

Emma was finally seeing something was wrong.

_ Now you're making me nervous _

Her girlfriend is in a stall puking her guts out.

_ Where are we? _

She should have known. She should have helped.

_ Where are we? _

Alyssa sobbed in her arms for hours. The brunette finally allowing herself to feel in weeks.

_ Well you look like yourself _

Emma carried her home.

_ But you're somebody else _

She didn't give a fuck if anyone found out. Alyssa was in pain.

_ Only it ain't on the surface _

Once Emma had drove her girlfriend home later in the day she found a note back in her room.

_ Well you talk like yourself _

Dear Emma,

I want you to know that I love you. Tell people whatever you want, I won't be around to hear it. I doubt anyone is going to miss me, I was worthless anyways. You'll always be my first girlfriend.

Stay strong 

Alyssa xo

_ No, I hear someone else though _

No. No. This can't be happening.

_ Now you're making me nervous _

Emma jumped in her truck faster than she had ever moved in her life.

_ Well you look like yourself _

She went in through Alyssa's window.

_ But you're somebody else _

Silence. 

_ Only it ain't on the surface _

She can see a faint light coming from the bathroom.

_ Well you talk like yourself _

She pries open the doer and is met with terror

_ No, I hear someone else though _

Alyssa’s favourite chocolates, an empty bottle of pills on the ground, a razor and her girlfriend in the tub switch slit wrists, one hand holding a picture of them holding hands. 

_ Now you're making me nervous _

Emma just sobbed.

_ I saw the part of you that only when you're older _

She couldn't do anything.

_ You will see too, you will see too _

She just sobbed over her broken girlfriend. She became somebody else. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! This is definitely one of my darker fics, also I'm not sure if I did that whole singfic thing right but here we are.


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